The Vexos Host Club
by Troth
Summary: AU! Bored Hydron is trying to find a way to make his life a bit more exciting. After having an Ouran High School Host Club Marathon, the answer dawns on him! He should create his own Host Club. And who does he drag along with him? Why, none other than the Vexos of course! Semi CRACK! fic


A/N: Let me start off with saying the idea came to me during church. Yes, of all places it could have come to me, it came while I was at church.

While I was at church, I was making flash cards for my Honors Chemistry class and the idea popped into my head.

What if the Vexos members were Host Club members?

And so, while I was STILL at church, I thought of some jokes and what type each member would be.

So yes, that's really all I have to say. It's just really funny to me, and I even chuckled during church.

While this story is mostly a comedy, I'll probably add serious bits here and there. Also, I have never written a story that was intentionally a comedy. So, forgive me if you find my humor a bit dark, or maybe not.

The reason it's waited T is because there are swear words and a lot of the jokes will be sexual.

Ok, enough with this long ass A/N! I hope you enjoy this story!

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><p>The idea came to him in the middle of the night. Right after he finished his Ouran High School Host Club marathon and laid down on his bed thinking about the lovable and quite hilarious series. He frowned and wondered why his life wasn't as exciting as the characters' on the show. And then it dawned on him. Maybe the answer was simple. Maybe all he had to do was be a Host Club member.<p>

Eagerly, he snatched his phone off of his bed desk and dialed a certain number. He waited patiently as he heard the phone ringing, crossing and uncrossing his legs that were in the bed.

"There better be a fucking good explanation as to why you're calling me at 12:47 in the morning, Hydron." snarled Keith; or perhaps it was Spectra, given his rather rude attitude. You see, Keith seemed to switch his moods regularly. Basically, he was bipolar (not that he was diagnosed with it). When he happen to be bitchy (as he was now) they referred to him as Spectra. When he was kind, he was referred to as Keith. Lovely, wasn't it?

"Ah, hello Spectra!" greeted Hydron rather perky. "You see, I have an exciting idea that I want everyone to do!" He could hear Spectra let out a loud sigh and groaned.

"Why the fuck couldn't this waited until morning, or better yet school?" Hydron nodded, even though he knew Spectra couldn't see him.

"You're right. Keith would have been more supportive and asked me what it was."

"Bite me, brat." Spectra puzzled Hydron. Everyone else, including Keith, usually always obeyed him, because his father just happened to be their bosses. But when Keith turned into Spectra, it seemed he didn't give damn about that.

"You're the dominating type!" exclaimed Hydron, pleased with himself. Silence over the phone. Had he fallen asleep?

"That's it? You fucking woke me up to tell me what type I am?" Spectra sounded very dangerous right now, and Hydron decided he would continue this talk when he was Keith. Which meant, in the morning.

"You're right, it's really late! I have to let you now! I'll tell you more tomorrow, so bye Spectra!" Hydron hung up the phone and placed it on the desk, hoping he wouldn't call him back. Which he didn't.

Hydron laid on his back again and stared at the ceiling. He wondered, what were everyone else's types? Hydron decided this was no time to sleep, and he jumped off the bed and retrieved some papers and a pen. After all, he had to work out all the precise details if he really wanted this to work.

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><p>Hydron was panting heavily, still holding on to the pieces of papers he had scribbled on last night. His face was flushed with excitement and the grin on his face wouldn't disappear.<p>

He had just finished explained his little idea to the Vexos; his little gang. It consisted of Keith/Spectra Clay/Phantom, Gus Grav, Shadow Prove, Mylene Farrow, Lync Volan, and Volt Luster. They were all an odd bunch, but maybe that's what made them get along. Most of the time.

"No way." announced Shadow Prove after the long silence. Hydron's smile slowly faded and his eyebrows furrowed.

"What?" Lync decided to add his own opinion.

"It's stupid. Who wants to please a bunch of girls who are probably all ugly?" Hydron glared at Lync. Did he just call his idea...stupid?

"Frankly, I don't want to do it," said Keith, apologetically.

"Also, did you forget I am a girl?" growled Mylene. The idea of satisfying girls made her shiver. She was straight! Gus and Volt said nothing, not wanting to add to Hydron's obvious anger.

"I worked so hard last night on all of this, and you just think it's stupid?" He shouted, stopping his foot. "Maybe my father should get rid of your parents because they're all so STUPID!" The last word echoed loudly in the halls. Yes, Hydron was a spoiled brat when he didn't get his way, and he admitted that too. But it was just so easy to pull out the dad card, he almost always did it. The Vexos glanced at each other, annoyed. They, frankly, hated the damn Father card.

"I-I was just kidding, Hydron!" said Lync, laughing nervously. "It's a great idea. I'm all for it."

"Yeah, maybe we'll learn something from it." tried Keith. Hydron's anger seemed to be disappeared. Keith elbowed Shadow's rib.

"Ouch! Fine, I'll do it too." he snarled. Hydron's smile returned once more.

"Really? Great! This is all going to be so much fun! I guess I should tell you guys your types then!" Everyone looked puzzled.

"Our...types?" asked Volt, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! There's always a type in every Host Club!" He flipped through his papers and finally found the ones he was looking for. "Here we go! Now, Keith/Spectra, which ever you refer, is the Dominating Type!" Keith looked a bit confused.

"Um, why?" Keith asked, slowly. Hydron seemed prepared for that question.

"Isn't it obvious? Spectra, who is part of you, never wants to put down by me. He always wants rule! Since that is his trait, then it's Keith's trait as well." Keith shrugged and found that he didn't really hate his type. Hydron turned to Volt, practicing jumping in place.

"You're obviously the Strong, Silent Type! I bet nobody disagrees, right?" He turned to the other Vexos members, who were all shaking their heads.

"It perfectly describes Volt..." said Mylene. Hydron nodded excitedly. He then turned to Shadow, who seemed frightened.

"You, my friend, are the Paranormal/Creepy Type! With all you gothic clothing, and your freakish fangs!" Shadow was about to protest, when Volt clamped his hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

Hydron turned to Gus, who tried to smile but ending up looking as if his life was going to end right then and there.

"You are the Slave Type!" Everyone bursted out laughing, not even trying to hide it. Gus's cheeks soon became bright pink.

"Excuse me?" Perhaps he had heard incorrectly. Why the Hell was he the slave type? Hydron clapped his hands.

"Gus, it's so perfect. You hardly speak, which is what a slave should do!" Gus was about to protest, but Hydron continued. "You're a net freak and you always obey Keith/Spectra without even trying to fight him. You were born to play this role!" Again, another roar of laughter. Keith wrapped his arm around Gus's neck, still laughing.

"It really is perfect, Gus." Keith said, causing Gus to become even more pink due to the embarrassment. Hydron turned his attention to Lync.

"You're the Mischievous Type. After all, you never do sit still and keep things calm for the rest of us, you little devil." Lync took that title proudly, showing off a big smile.

"Fine by me!" Lync cackled. Finally, the moment of truth came to Mylene. She crossed her arms and waited to see what possible type Hydron had cooked up for her. Maybe she was just going to be the manager or something.

"You're the Lesbian Type!" This roar of laughter had been even louder than when Gus was revealed to be the Slave Type. Mylene's has dropped and couldn't wait to hear Hydron oh so excellent reasoning behind this. "I don't really have any type for you except the Scary Type, but that wouldn't attract the girls..." Mylene was furious.

"Couldn't I be the one to attract the boys?" She yelled. Hydron slightly his behind his papers, as an effort to protect himself.

"B-But your not as pretty and nice as Alice and-"

Hydron's face soon met with Mylene's Chemistry Textbook. Hydron was thrown back, and all his papers went flying out. As Hydron saw the papers flying around he wondered if he had not been too kind with Mylene's type. Then again, she threw a goddamn Textbook at his beautiful face!

"Oh, my! Are you alright?" Someone pulled him up. Green eyes soon filled his vision. Of course, it was Klaus.

"Perfect! I needed a Graceful Type!" cried out Hydron, suddenly hugging Klaus. Klaus looked perplexed. "I'm starting a Host Club! Will you please join?" Since Klaus was rich, and his family owned a different company from Hydron's, there was no daddy card to pull with Klaus. So he had to resort to begging. And Klaus was a kind man.

"Sure, Hydron. As long as I'm also the Gay Type with Gus." At the statement, said person passed out and landed in the arms of the Strong, Silent Type. All this embarrassment was too much for him. Klaus laughed, but leaned closer to Hydron and whispered, "I'm serious." Hydron nodded.

"Sure! That's fine, after all the twins seemed to be gay..." Klaus raised an eyebrow, not wanting to hear about incest and Hydron shook his head. "Never mind! I'm going to go to the office and get this Host Club started!" Hydron went in the direction of the school's office, not looking back. Klaus turned to the other members.

"Well, won't this be certainly fun?"

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><p>AN: There you have! I apologize that this chapter seems short, but oh well.

If you haven't already noticed, I happen to also be a KlausxGus shipper. Why? Blame the Stars Shine Brightly. And so what if Klaus isn't a Vexos member? You'll find that things are more fun with Klaus around.

I do appreciate reviews, so please leave your opinions! I do become more confident in my stories when you do


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